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GrunkleStanwhich t1_j85gy6f wrote

"Put the knife down you fool, you are not willing to use it" I spoke in a tone as close to comfort as I could manage.

"You don't know that. You dont know what I'd do!" The girl responded, trembling hand still gripping the blade. Her words were produced like smoke, fickle and quickly fading.

Slowly I reached forward with a clawed hand, closing the gap between us until it was no more. She hesitated, but conceded, allowing me to take the knife.

"Of course I know that. Because I know you El." I paused to tuck the knife away, then continued. "You forget I can see your mind."

She grew suddenly quiet. Tears welled at the corners of her eyes and choked at her throat; a moment later little shiny streams were running down her cheeks. Years ago I would've froze at this very human gesture, but at this point in my guardianship I was more than prepared. I knew what she needed.

"Come here girl. We're ok." I held out my arms. She came forth and sobbed into me, darkening my coat with her tears. She cried and cried, shook until empty.

A guardian demon. Who thought of such a foolish thing? A relationship, a real relationship, between infernal and man. It was unholy at best, sacrilegious at worst. But I had a job to do, regardless of the terms that would be used to describe our binding.

Those some three years ago when I got the call I knew it to be trouble. Micheal never called unless it was. And old friend, yes, but a friend all too good at understanding my vices.

"Leonard, I know it's been a while but" is what he'd said, how he'd started me on this path.

"No. Whatever it is Lucifer's no." I replied

"You didn't even hear me out, old friend. Can a demon and angel not get in one simple conversation? I've missed you."

"Though I cannot say the same friend. I know your games all too well. They call us the masters of deceit, yet here you call claiming to wish me a nice day yet your voice reeks of desperation-" I felt my anger growing, but was cut short by his reply.

"She's my daughter, Leonard. Not god daughter, my blood daughter. It will be three, four years at best. I just need you to watch her, you don't even have to interfere!"

There was not much to say after, only to agree to his ridiculous pact. In return he said I'd have clearance to the earth for as long as I'd watch, though I did not care much for the promise of roaming a worthless rock.

But now, now holding El in my arms, sensing her trust in me, I could not help but to feel this was the only decision to be made. I did not care if Micheal returned for her. Hells, I think I may have even preferred if he didn't. Because someone, someone needed me, and now I think I needed them too.

And the honest truth is, she would have used that knife too. She would have killed the things that wronged her, then buried her shame in a lifetime of sadness.

I was the only thing telling her not to.


johnclark6 t1_j87gxjx wrote

Wonderful. Well-written, punchy, elicited a reaction. Well fucking done.


MostlyTuesday t1_j85ldrq wrote

Phesteaus blinked his four eyes slowly at the creature. It couldn’t see him of course, but he heard its heartbeat slow from it’s fluttering pace. Phesteaus was never human, but even hell has cable these days. Human spawn were not supposed to sleep on a concrete floor. They were not supposed to be bruised. They were not supposed to become more afraid when the light turned on.

The demon had excellent hearing. There were many humans in this building. A swarm of them were in a large open space, bustling about and packing something. Little worker bees. More voices in another area of the building, laughing and cursing and complaining about how they were going to get what they were owed, one way or another. Phesteaus focused on them. They were responsible for his charge’s predicament.

The demon stepped back into the darkness, merging with the shadows on the wall. His shadow oozed out of the room and onto the ceiling. Fluorescent lights flickered and burst as he neared them. The building revealed itself to be a warehouse. The scent of the busy bees below were a mild distraction and he discarded them from his mind for now. He had the scent of the ones with the foulest souls. He would visit them later.

The voices grew louder as Phesteaus approached the heavy metal door that separated him from his quarry. The foul stench of rotting souls made the demon grin, thin cracked lips spreading over hundreds of sharp teeth.

Perhaps this is why the favor was called in, Phesteaus mused. The angel never did like getting his hands dirty.

When he opened the door the lights in the room burst with a shower of sparks. The humans cursed and grabbed their phones, illuminating the monster as it shifted back from the shadows. He towered over the humans, knees and back bent to fit in the room. When they began to shout and fire their weapons, a membrane slid over his eyes and Phesteaus shot forward towards the closest human. Soon enough the curses and gunfire turned into screams and the crunching of bone and flesh.

The workers below were gone, scared away by whatever was happening to their employers. The demon was pleased with how his turn as a guardian was going. It wasn’t until he opened the door to the room holding the child that he realized he hadn’t turn incorporeal again.

The child was crying, shaking in a corner of the room. Phesteaus blinked his eyes slowly at the child again and crooked a finger in their direction.

Come little mortal, they can not harm you ever again.

The child just kept crying. The demon tilted his head in thought, and then smiled - teeth covered this time. His form began to twist and shrink, fur growing from the molten cracks on his skin. Falling forward as his limbs contorted and his hands and feet turned to paws.

A black cat stretched where the demon once stood. He padded over to the shocked child and climbed into their lap. The child’s hands automatically went to the cat’s fur and began to pet him softly.

Come child, it is time for you to go home.

The child shakily stood, clutching the cat to their chest.

“Are you a monster?” The child whispered.

Yes, child. I eat monsters that prey on children. Are you a monster?

“No, mister.”

I could tell. You have a kind, young soul. You need not worry child, you are safe from me.

“Okay.” The child hesitated before looking into the cat’s yellow eyes and asking “can I go home now? I really want my mommy and daddy.”

Yes child. Close your eyes.

The child’s eyes closed and the cat’s eyes glowed as the shadows in the room enveloped the child and the cat. When the shadows unwrapped themselves from the pair they were on a sidewalk, outside of an apartment complex. The demon told the child to open their eyes and the child gaped and spun to look at their surroundings.

“Momma! Momma!” The child shouted and cried, still holding the cat as they began running up the exterior apartment stairs. A door opened up and a disheveled pair of adults ran out. The group hugged and cried and Phesteaus wiggled free and to the ground. It was very sweet and sappy and the demon was tempted to cough up a hair ball in protest.

Still, a few years as a guardian to this child wouldn’t be too bad, and there was plenty of corruption on the surface to entertain himself with. Phesteaus was going to enjoy his time on earth and perhaps investigate this “TSA” he’d heard so much about. Best favor repayment ever.

(Long time lurker, first time writer so I hope this is alright! Also, couldn’t remember how to bold so just imagine it where you think it should be.)


amishbill t1_j86eo1u wrote

“Are you a monster? ….. Yes…”

It’s amazing how flexible children’s reactions can be.


MostlyTuesday t1_j896lix wrote

I absolutely agree! I was thinking of Death from the Discworld series when I wrote this. All children know that monsters are real, so it’s easy enough to be honest.


Jojosbees t1_j85t5pu wrote

"Absolutely not."

"It's for a good cause," Remiel, the angel of hope, pleads.

"Like that's a good argument. Real convincing." You pick at your claws, dislodging a bit of Steve from underneath. Lobbyists were the worst, always leaving oily stains on your robes no matter how much you thought you managed to flay off prior. Apparently, it was grease all the way down.

Ever the optimist, Remiel continues to make their case, "It's only for a few years. Eighty tops."

"Get Moroni to do it. I'm busy."

"After that cock-up in the Americas? Not a chance. Moron's on probation."

Oh it had been funny at the time, tempting your less-intelligent feathery brethren to sin, but now it is affecting you personally, and that is simply unacceptable.

"Uriel then?" There has to be someone else. Anyone, really. Protection detail is beneath you. Ever since Eden dried up, there was always a sword-wielding thug or two itching to do some light smiting for the greater good.

"They asked for you by name, Ramiel."

Oh, for fuck's sake.

"The humans mispronounced your name, and you know it!" You glare into the middle distance, hoping Remiel can feel the heat of it on the back of his third head.

Remiel. Ramiel. It was a common mistake. If only the Big Guy had spared a couple ounces of creativity after making the heavens and the earth to name his creations instead of delegating the task to a literal infant. Adam had been lazy or perhaps he lacked the attention span. (After all, he only had the single brain, the one set of eyes.) Perhaps you should be glad you hadn't been named something truly hideous like Phlegm, Moist, or even Dennis.

Unfortunately, Remiel doesn't budge. "They asked, and He saw fit to grant their boon."

"Like I care-"

"Lucifer agreed."



So this isn’t exactly a request.

"Okay fine," you relent, "but if I'm stuck doing this, there are going to be conditions."

"Of course."

"I have full control over my charge. You make me his guardian angel; no one in heaven gets a say in how I manage my business."

"Fair enough," Remiel agrees.

"I mean it. Full control."

There's a pause. "He gets eighty years, Ramiel."

"Oh, he'll make it to eighty." Can't say the same about everyone else around him.

"His name is-"

"Ladybug," you insist. "I don't care what they named him. I'm calling him Ladybug."


You roll out the life-map, the tendrils of serendipity, happenstance, and luck intertwined with those of others (both good and less so) stretching before your Ladybug in a vague miasma of possibility.

"Now. Let's get started."


thoughtsthoughtof t1_j87ojmx wrote

Do they know the demon would likely shorten the lives of others around the man


CardsOfTime t1_j88lctg wrote

Dislodging a bit of Steve from underneath the claws was a great touch!


inapix t1_j88jihe wrote

Bullet Train reference? A great read!


tamtrible t1_j85vdrv wrote

I was starting to like this kid. I could see why Taziroth wanted to make sure she was covered, and why she thought I'd make a decent substitute guardian. The kid had a *creative* sense of justice, though she could use a little more common sense sometimes.

After last week's laxative brownies, the neighborhood bully was chasing Leah with murderous intent. I edited reality just enough to put an old gopher hole where the bigger girl was just about to step, and watched in satisfaction as she wrenched her ankle, and stopped the chase to howl. My charge paused her flight just long enough to taunt the bully and laugh, then she continued to dart away to her own yard.

Leah climbed the fence, then hopped from the top to the platform of her treehouse. She was getting better, this time I didn't have to nudge her aim at all for her to land safely. The cozy little treehouse was mostly full of the tools of her self-appointed trade. Stink bombs, rubber dog doo, smoke bombs, a wide selection of joy buzzers, and so on, all sorted by a complicated metric of price, quality, function, and strength. Little Leah was quite the artisan of chaos.

She filled her pockets with a choice selection, then jumped down from the treehouse, scorning the ladder in her haste to get on with her self-appointed mission. I nudged an inconvenient rock aside, so she didn't bobble the landing too badly. I was pretty sure she was heading towards the convenience store that usually tried to short-change kids who came in buying snacks, and I heartily approved.

I'm pretty sure a proper guardian angel was supposed to lead their charge towards the path of righteousness, not mischief. But if that's what Taz wanted, why in the h**ven did she pick *me* for the job? No, I think she knew exactly what she was doing. After all, this kind of rough justice was exactly the proper province of Hell. I grinned, and followed after my racing charge.


No-Peace2087 t1_j86zynk wrote

‘You need to return’

I stared at the child finally asleep in the dark room with only light coming through the cracks on the curtain, the voice carried on the light itself.


‘Your purpose is complete. If you do not return you will be bound and your essence will be erased’

My friend and brother, with me even after I fell, was not wrong. 29 years with my ward and my task was complete. If I continued to stay on this plane my very essence would disappear and my own mother could not save me.

I growled from the corner across from the child, the darkness wrapping around me ‘I will not leave my charge. I have been entrusted their safety and will never go back on my word my old friend. I may be fallen but I do not lie, we can not lie’

The voice carried on the light began to grow, concern and anger on every word ‘You can not do this! You will be bond to this plane. There is not future in this line and I will not let you cease!’ I could hear the sadness now take hold as the voice quivered and the light flickers and rises ‘Please….don’t leave me brother’

My eyes never leaving the child knew they were awake. Their brown eyes piercing the darkness of the room looking directly at me. The child slowly rose and I followed suit as the darkness of the room began to over take even the light that was coming through the cracks. Small tiny steps that only a 4 year only could make marched toward me. All I could do was wait for this child to stop in front of me, reaching their tiny hand out.

‘You need to sleep little one, come let us go back to your bed’ I said as I reached one of my hands out to take theirs. My claws and scales massive and grotesque as this little hand gripped my longest finger. We moved slowly back to their bed before they began to weep. Something that was now normal over this week but I could not bear. Stroking the child’s hair slowly to help comfort them as they returned to their dreams I returned my attention to the light. No longer bright as an afternoon sun but now shaded with red and yellow like the setting sun.

‘I can not leave my charge. Your ward entrusted me. She asked me, as I had been there for her, to be there for this child’ darkness slowly recessing and allowing the light more vibrancy.

‘You will be bonded to their bloodline’ the light flickered more as the tones changed. ‘Your ward dying in the accident was not the only tragedy. The child will never continue its line. You will fade away as they travel to their next plane’

Allowing my darkness to wrap the weeping child as they slowly drift into their dreams ‘I know, my dear brother, I know. I will do so happily, for I am pride’

Hope this is good. Normally just lurk but wanted the story in my head to come out for once.


manyname t1_j85pqho wrote

The halls of ice quivered as the demon laughed, a low tone of bass rattling stone and bone alike.

It paused, for a moment, as the figure looked to the other, before bursting into laughter again, harder than before. The booming laughter echoed through the twisting halls, overcoming the wails of the damned and the gnashing of teeth.

I am being serious, Ahpuch, the other spoke, their soft voice piercing through all noise. I require your help.

The laughter died swiftly, as the named demon stared down the speaker. And you shall not receive it. I remember what you did, Azrael. I know what you have done. The demon leaned forward, revealing a scarred wound. The only reason I do not strike you down here and now is the promise we had, back before the Fall.

Then for the sake of that promise, then. I ask of you, please.

Ahpuch gave a snort. Even if I were so keen to rekindle our prior friendship, as I said: I know what you have done. I will not shield you from Father's wrath.

Ahpuch, please--

No. Ahpuch leaned forward again, staring down the diminutive figure. You broke the Laws, Azrael. You struck down a demon in cold blood. Further, you have tempted many of my kin to their demise. Purposefully.

Then you know how desperate I am to come to you for help.

Ahpuch looked to Azrael, the two staring each other down for some time. Ahpuch gave a grim smile, stating, Then I suppose you will expect my high demands?


Ahpuch nodded, then thought. The demon finally decided on their demands, proclaiming them to the angel.

Then I would demand of you, your power. I would demand of you, your strength. I would demand of you, your domain over death. Give me these, and I will take on your role. I will take on your responsibilities. I will even take on your ward.

Demands made, the demon stood, extending a hand to the angel. A symbol formed in flame upon Ahpuch's hand, enveloping it the chains of contract. Azrael paused for a moment, before taking in a deep breath, and clasping the hand. The flame spread to his hand, searing the symbol in, scars forming as chains wrapped around his arm.

I accept your terms.

As the words were finished, Azrael gave a grimace of pain as the powers he held we lost, strength draining from his body. His divine glow lessened, until the only remnants of his being an angel were the dim halo above his head and wings upon his back.

Ahpuch, contract completed, inhaled the divine power, relishing in the unique flavor of its feeling. So long, it had been, since he had held such power.

Ah, I had missed this. Starting from now, as promised, I shall take on your role, your responsibilities, and ward.

Before Azrael could respond, Ahpuch lurched forward, using his newfound power to move at a speed the powerless angel could not match. The clawed hand found it's way cleanly through skin and bone to grasp around the angel's heart.


Azrael could not finish the sentence, as he coughed up blood. Ahpuch made his decree, as the divine power demanded.

Azrael, for your infractions upon the Laws of Father, He has deemed it fit for your destruction. Ne'er again shall ye serve Him, and ne'er shall you serve the whims of Hell.

The demon then kissed the angel once upon each cheek upon his face, telling him earnestly,

Goodbye, my old friend.

Then heart was torn asunder from body, as Azrael stumbled back, grasping at the hole in his chest. The angel reached out, unable to speak through the choking blood, as the beating heart slowed. The life continued to drain, the shock permeating on his face, as the beating came to a stop, before the body followed, falling still upon the ice.

Ahpuch watched the entire process, watching with a mixture of glee and sadness. While Azrael had done them wrong, he had been a good friend, once. Ahpuch decided it would only be right to keep some reminders of his friend. The demon reached down, ripping the halo and wings from their places, grafting them to his own being. They then ripped open their own ribcage, placing the angel's heart next to their own, grafting in into their body. Reminders taken, and power absorbed, them on looked away from the decaying body to the above Earth and Heaven, giving a smile.

Now then, let us meet this ward you have left me, Azrael.


XadhoomXado t1_j862mly wrote

The angel looked expectantly at a bipedal leopard creature with four dirty-white horns.

Flauros gawked at him. "What?! Do you know what you're asking of me?"

The demon pointed a claw at his computer screen, and a long list of names. "Just today, I've gotten a thousand new prisoners and just four candidates for Heaven. And you want me to let it pile up for years?"

Cassiel looked uneasy. "I know I ask much, but I have to go to one of the Milky Way worlds for three years."

Flauros looked unimpressed. "What, Earth for another Supernatural marathon? Is that show really that good?"

Cassiel rolled his eyes. "You did not have to make that joke, Flauros. But no, it is the new planet Tarlon. Michael has tasked me with studying it for a while. In the meantime, my charge needs another guardian."

"What, the one with the birds?" Flauros wondered. "Eh, none of my business. My answer is no, I'm too busy. Can't you ask one of the other angels? Don't you have some kid who needs the practice?"

"I honestly would rather go to you," Cassiel replied. "None of them are ready to be guardians yet."

"So rather than train your apprentices, you want to have me do a job I'm even less ready for," Flauros said, dryly. "Are you desperate to hang out, or do you think it's a great idea?"

"Honestly, yes," Cassiel admitted. "I do not really have much free time or respect up in Heaven. I have gone on thirty missions this century alone."


Shadow_Mars t1_j86nffz wrote

Billy sat down after receiving his friday beaten after school. As he was the new kid at Los Palmos High School and came from a very conservative catholic school, the rest of the students saw him as the “virgin boy” and disregarded him with brutality. He got thrown fish and bread at the cafeteria and had many of his rosary necklaces stolen or burnt in front of him.

Night fall and he is still sitting down alone in his room, holding the bible his step mom gave him. He opens a passage and read about the guardian angels. —“If everyone has one, then where is mine?”— Billy sobs. The boy remembers his father’s words “before sleeping always pray to your guardian angel”. Billy sighs and starts his prayer.

Once he finishes he complains — “But angels are bot the kind to solve problems, they only overlook the ones who suffer… amen”

-“Are you certain of the worthlessness of an angel?”

A mysterious voice came from from the darkness of under his bed. Billy kneels and looks for the origin of the voice. Shivers go down his spine

-“Looking in the dark for darkness itself, I see you are not one to sit with your arms cross, are you?”

The crucifix on Billy’s wall tilted sideways. His windows closed violently and the chair next to his desk turned around. The moving furniture made a terrible screeching sound on the floor. Billy look frightened. The chair finished turning… and his only friend, a Teddy bear with only one eye was sitting there, far away from the last place Billy left it. Billy walks towards it and picks it up. The room stays silent as he gets the toy closer to his face.

Billy breaths rapidly. His heart beats. The wind hits the windows. He feels cold. His fingers froze in place when he took the bear. His heart beats. He blinks once, twice. He can’t move. His eyes meet with the one of the bear.

-“You were looking for your guardian angel…”

His heart beats, faster. The teddy bear moves its head.

-“… how about a guardian demon?”



dorn284 t1_j87c7g0 wrote

Shaking, crying, the three females huddle together. I could glare at Gabreal, but there would be no point. They've been holding this favor in their robes since Eden's end. Of all the beings they could call on though, they choose me to play fill in for this? Sure, two of the females are young. Not old enough to breed, as far as I can tell. Old enough they don't need to nurse, maybe?

They sigh. "They are not old enough to need to nurse, no. They are both twins, and a year out from reaching sexual maturity. Not that that stopped..."

My eyes flick over to theirs. Gab can't lie for shit. They also suck at hiding things, and they know me very well. Others would see it as them maipulating me, but I know. They didn't want me to know that. They know what it will mean. Unlike Satan's spawn, the Devil's have rules. We're known for it. Don't get me wrong, we are just as cruel as our cousins. And our rules don't make us "better" then them by any means. But we Devils all have some rules.

Mine are simple. Bargain only for yourself. Simple in theory, but there is nuance to everything. A mother bargaining to save their child is doable. A father offering his daughter as payment though... It's two other rules that made him choose me. The two rules that make my kin cautious of me. Leave no orphans. Harm no innocents.

Harm. No. Innocents.

Gab and I stand there, looking each other into the eye. Around us a pair of hounds materialize and move towards the females. They are scared, which is fair. Even hidden behind my Seemings hellhounds are no small things to have approch you in the depth of night. But my hounds are good hounds. Within minutes of the hounds whining and begging for attention, the young have bonded with them and all five are huddling together. The hounds will keep them warm enough, for now.

"Gabreal, this I ask of thee, my honored friend, my ancient enemy. Did you choose me to guard them, or to avenge them?"

They turn their eyes from me, looking down at the females. The weight of their contemplation doesn't seem to affect them, though one of my hounds snarls at him where the females can't see. "Amodagon, this I answer thee, my beloved friend, my honored enemy. You I choose to guard them, but I know one thing to be true. Those who harmed them hunt them still, and when they find them again, the only thing that will keep these females alive is you." They bow their head, and turn away. "I am sorry, Dag. So sorry that yet again I will be the reason you bloody your hands."

I nod slowly, before waving a hand dismissively at him. "Go. Keeping three females alive won't be hard, though my methods may not meet your approval. And should the ones who harmed them arrive, know that they will not be threats for long." The looks on his face is priceless as I push him back towards heaven with a final phrase. "After all, how much harm could one Devil's son really do?"

Of all the devils, he chose me. Realities filled with other divine creatures, lesser gods, spirits and others. He could of chose any of them.

Besides. Atlantis had it coming.


Visual_Conference421 t1_j87j5cr wrote

An Angel had come to me, Uriel, and asked a favor, it needed some time away to pray and recenter. It happens sometimes with the lowest Orders, though usually another Angel covers for them. I was promised payment, the possibility of decades on Earth, just for watching over a child, though my powers would be bound while there. I agreed, the job went well, the Angel returned and took up their post once more.

It was eighty three years later when I stood before Saint John of Capistrano. “Uriel lied to me! I had none of my memories, none of my powers at all, you, he…I was a human! I was a human for eighty fucking years!” It felt good to curse at a saint, and I was very upset. Saint John shook his head “he let you be deceived, yes, but you knew your powers would be bound.” I scowled at him “but not my memories or knowledge! I was the same as any other human, Uriel did not say a thing about that!” The Saint nodded, then pulled out a quill and a gavel and a book….MY book, I saw my name on it. He nodded and looked up at me. “What in Hell is that? I know I am Eternally Damned, no need to rub it in. I was fine while there, though, I am the one filing a complaint here.” John nodded and flipped to the first page. “First Corinthians, 6:3” I felt a phantom of pain when I sat down so hard, 83 years of memories convincing me it hurts when you sit down directly onto the floor like that. The verse ran through my mind, ‘Do you not know that we will judge angels?’ A verse referencing Saints sitting above angels “What?” John looked at me again, raising an eyebrow at being interrupted, then turned back to my book “you said it yourself, you were fine while there, the same as any other human. As any other human would be, now, you are to be judged, and offered mercy” I just sat there, watching, crying, trying not to laugh, as I realized what he meant, what that bastard Uriel had set me up for. I should have known, really, we all should have, what sort of loving god would damn someone for all eternity? The oldest, biggest bastard had told us what we needed to hear so it could see how we lived when there was no hope of eternal reward, no hope of redemption…and I had behaved like anyone else.


_SapphicVixen_ t1_j87ozsz wrote

"Have you lost your mind? No! No, they'll notice that a Demon Lord has gone missing! Angela! Angela!" The Demon Lord growled. "I swear you better not..." She must have heard the line click. Angela had hung up on the Demon Lord. "How did she end up staying in Heaven and I get thrown down here?"

I peeked around the rotary phone's base. "You chose to fight in the rebellion, remember?"

She nodded and sighed. "Yeah.... " She dropped into one of the big comfortable chairs in her chamber. "Yeah, I remember." She rubbed her thumb between her brows.

"Are you going to go?"

"Of course I am. She and Belezbia are best friends, and if I want to keep things going well with Belezbia, I need to stay on good terms with Angela."

"So what's the plan, Your Grace?" I asked, tilting my head.

"Well, if I'm not going to be sitting on my throne, I need a substitute." She said, tapping her stilettoed black nails on the armrest.

"Do you have anyone in mind? Someone you can trust. You don't want someone to use the opportunity to start a coup."

A slow grin spread over the Demon Lord's face. "What about you, Ziel?"

I widened my eyes. "I apologize for being so blunt or speaking crudely to you, your grace, but are you insane? Look how small I am! I'm a lowly Imp! How would I keep anyone in line? How can I--"

"Shh! You're perfect. Someone I can easily get rid of if they start a coup. Someone I am confident is loyal in the first place. Someone who understands the politics and how everything works around here. You're perfect, Ziel--well aside from questioning my judgement."

"But, your grace!"

"No buts! You're going to by my--" She stood suddenly and dramatically, pointing down at me. "SUBSTITUTE DEMON LORD!"


Okay, okay. I've got this! Substitute Demon Lord!

I went through my normal routine--though many times larger. It was strange to be so tall and to look like my Demon Lord. I had to use the powers she gave me to make my checklists bigger so I could actually write on them. I spent hours and hours pouring over everything--checking every box! Crossing every T! Dotting every I! Ha, I was good at this!

"Your grace?" called a voice.

I ignored it, steeped in the minutia and paperwork of running my Demon Lord's kingdom.

"Your grace?"

I still didn't respond. Not until I felt a tug on the majestic robes I was wearing, suddenly reminded of the role I was playing.

"Your grace..." once more the voice addressed me. A voice attached to a demoness with too kind a face to belong in Hell. Too graceful a stride to be a lowly demon. Her hair was like black silk and a pair of horns like alabaster curled back along the sides of her head like a ram's. She peered up at me with humility from her ocher complexion.

She was mesmerizing and I nearly forgot who I was supposed to be again. "Ah, uhm yes?"

"Greetings, your grace. I'm Vizhabel, the new handmaid to Demon Lord Belezbia. I would have sought out your handmaid imp, Ziel, but I was told she hasn't been seen for a few days, so I hope I'm not imposing or breaking any rules."

She was meant to see me? It had been days? I felt my eyes start to widen but pulled the expression back into something cool and easy. "Oh, well, I sent her for a vacation. She's been working very hard."

"Oh," she paused, knitting her brows. "I didn't realize we got vacations."

I nodded. "Oh, it's a new thing we're trying. I think we might get better work out of the demons if we offer occasional rewards for service."

Vizhabel nodded. "I suppose that makes sense and I shouldn't question the judgement of a Demon Lord." She replied, her cheeks darkening a little.

"Nonsense. Do you think I would be doing so well if I surrounded myself with people that agreed with me all the time?"

There was confusion on her face. "Belezbia said you were an odd Demon Lord, but..."

"She's not a normal one either."

"I--I suppose." Vizhabel agreed hesitantly. "When will Ziel be back?"

"How does it concern you?"

"My Demon Lord thinks I might benefit from learning from her, and since you and Lord Belezbia are on such good terms it seemed like an easy thing to arrange."

"Ah, well, why don't you stay by my side. You can be my part-time handmaid and receive the training you need--after all, I trained Ziel."

"Ah, uhm," She face darkened more and she got quiet. After a moment she seemed to regain her composure and looked up at me. "Yes, your grace. I would be honored to serve two Demon Lords at once."

I smiled broadly at her, starting to feel my own cheeks start to glow with a warm blush. Eventually, I caught myself and cleared my throat. "Ahem. So what business did your Lord send you here for?"

"She is ready to receive you for the tea you arranged to meet her for."

"Oh! Oh yes! I think I will certainly benefit from having you around while my Ziel is away."


"Oh, Zunabir! I've missed you!" Belezbia cheered as she wrapped me up in her arms.

It was hard not to get intoxicated with such a powerful and beautiful Demon Lord. I wanted to surrender everything to her in that moment, but duty pulled me together.

"Hi, Belezbia." I replied.

"Hi?!?" She released me and glared into my face. "You're only going to say hi to me?"

I panicked and felt my cheeks going hot and, thankfully, she didn't seem to realize the blush belonged more to guilt than affection. "Oh! I-I'm sorry. Without Ziel, I've kept my mind busy with running my kingdom."

"Oh? What happened to Ziel?"

"I gave her a vacation."

Belezbia narrowed her eyes. "That's very strange."

"It was Ziel's idea. And you know I can hardly function without her."

Belezbia let out a loud laugh and threw her arm over my shoulders. "You know, that is believable. But you don't even have a replacement to help you get by until she gets back."

"Oh, I only did it this morning once I met Vizhabel. She needs training and said you wanted Ziel to train her and I trained Ziel... it seemed like the perfect opportunity to try it out. Maybe I can get a little more mileage out of my demons if they get little carrots every once in awhile."

"You are very odd, but I think I like that about you, Zuna. You're not like some of these stinky, ogres that run a lot of the other kingdoms of hell."

"Ha, yeah. Stinky ogres. Yuck." She shook her head.

Belezbia chuckled again as she pulled me over to a table and we sat to take tea. She locked eyes with me and I tried not to flinch or shiver. There was so much power behind her glowing golden eyes. Under the pressure of the gaze I let out a soft simper and tried to cover it with a clearing of my throat.

Belezbia tilted her head back and laughed into the sky before settling her gaze back on me. "Why are you so nervous all of a sudden?" She asked, speaking in a low sultry voice. "Do I intimidate you sweet?" She asked, standing and leaning over the table. "Do I hold power over you?"

What do I do? What do I do? I panicked.

Belezbia leaned closer. "I love seeing you squirm." She said and leaned in close to press our lips together.

And I panicked!


Cheyennosaur t1_j890bbt wrote

Ambriel sounded rather shaken up as she rushed through a polite greeting.

“Look, Lilith, I’ll get straight to the point: I need your help to keep this guy alive. Just until you can give his guardian angel some - specialized training, let’s say.” Ambriel seemed almost amused by the notion as she spoke it.

“Elaborate,” Lilith responded, intrigued but wary of where this conversation was going.

Ambriel sucked in a deep breath to steady herself while she pondered how best to summarize the current situation.

“So I have my ward - the devout and gentle daughter of an organized crime boss. She is very well-sheltered from her father’s business dealings though, if you can believe it, so I got her case file.”

Ambriel ran her fingers through her hair, attempting to calm herself before she continued, “But there’s been - well, a complication of sorts…”

“Oh, don’t tell me: there’s a guy.” Lilith nearly giggled in delight. Juicy gossip and star-crossed lovers could be ideal grounds for sowing the seeds of chaos.

“There’s a guy,” Ambriel confirmed. “And he’s well-meaning but he’s not exactly the brightest candle upon the altar. Plus his guardian is a newbie, totally unprepared for this level of protection.”

“So you want me to come with you and play nanny to a guardian angel?” Lilith pretended to pout at the idea. “What’s in it for me? You know I don’t work for charity.”

“Besides top-side access you mean?” Ambriel raised an eyebrow. “You also have limited privileges to influence the crime syndicate -“

Lilith’s eyes lit up and the end of her tail flicked in anticipation. Her lips curved into a mischievous grin.

“Under specific circumstances!” Ambriel quickly added, attempting to be stern.

“We must always try to prevent violence, not provoke it. You may only influence the syndicate in ways that will protect the wards. And you cannot tempt the wards with sin.”

“Yawn,” Lilith said teasingly. “Sounds boring,” she lied. She was interested, but wanted to press Ambriel for more privileges.

Ambriel laughed incredulously. “Ha! If only you knew how often this guy has stumbled just about to death’s door! I swear he’s got bad luck. Maybe his angel does, too.”

A moment of silence passed between them, each absorbed in their thoughts.

Ambriel sighed. “I was hoping that you could give the new angel some advice on how to anticipate and manage the chaos of the syndicate.”

Lilith raised an eyebrow in amusement. “You know I’m more of a chaos enabler than a chaos manager, right?”

“Well yeah, but I - was hoping maybe you would at least be able to give us some pointers.”

The deal was too good for Lilith to pass up, so she relented. “Alright, I’ll do it. But you owe me a favor.”

Ambriel could barely contain her joy and relief. “Oh, thank you, thank you! How soon can you start?”

“Immediately,” Lilith replied without hesitation.

“Let’s go then!” Ambriel nearly squealed with delight. “Gadriel will be waiting with his ward, Romeo. And I need to get back to Juliet.”


Xexotic_wolfX t1_j8b6ymb wrote

[PART 1/3]

“But… I’m a demon!” I exclaimed at the baffling request.

“I know,” she responded with a tired tone.

“Then… why? Why me, out of anyone else?”

“Because I trust you, Xavier.” Skyler’s sweet, angelic, soft-spoken voice filled my ears, making me sick to my stomach. But I held it together.

“How can you possibly trust me?” I growled. “You’re an angel, shouldn’t you hate us?”

She left an uncomfortably long pause, leaving me irritated and impatient, before finally breaking the silence. “We aren’t supposed to hate you, and neither are the mortals who follow us. It’s the protocol of the Lord. We’re only supposed to love.”

That last sentence made me break down in laughter, almost choking on the pig’s blood I had just taken a sip of. It was almost impossible to believe that, seeing all the Christians out there that were judging, shaming, and belittling others in the name of their Heavenly Father. It was quite ironic if that wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

“What’s so funny?” I heard Skyler say on the other end of the phone.

“Oh nothing,” I replied. “Just the fact that so many people don’t even follow that protocol.”

I took another sip of pig’s blood before continuing. “No wonder so many people leave the faith,” I chuckled.

I expected her to respond with something like, “That’s not true! Our followers are very loving!” But she didn’t. She just remained silent.

“And besides, wouldn’t that bring a curse among humanity if I took your place as The Great Protector?” I finally said.

I was right. Legends had it that if a demon were to take the place of a guardian angel in mortal protection, than it would bring a curse of destruction and damnation to that person’s life, even if it was a life of holiness and righteousness. And, if the demon was powerful enough, it could spread that curse to many others. And since I was one of the most highly ranked demons in the kingdom of Hell, I knew that the human I protected wouldn’t be the only one who felt the wrath.

After all, I was the one responsible for watching over only the most dangerous of people during their lifetime.

“Oh, c’mon! That’s just a myth,” Skyler said. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

I couldn’t believe what I just heard. How could an spiritual adherent of the Holy Spirit be so delusional? Even I was being more reasonable than her. And I was normally a chaotic and reckless demon who loved watching the mortals on Earth suffer from the consequences of their immoral actions. And even I knew this was a bad idea.

“There’s no damn way I’m agreeing to that,” I told her.

“Please, Xavier! I’m begging you!” She began to sound less genuine and more desperate. “I’m so tired of being the Guardian Angel, and trying to always trying to be the top angel in Heaven. It’s so exhausting trying to protect the mortals when the world only continues to grow more dangerous and corrupted by the minute. I can’t do this anymore! I need a break!”

“Then why can’t you talk to God about it?” I asked abruptly.

“Because when we’re chosen to be the Guardian angel, we have to run for at least a century. But I can’t do a century! It’s too much!”

“Then ask God if you can take a break!” I yelled.

“I tried, but he told me that I must run the whole hundred years first. If I take a break now, no other angel will be able to cover for me. The mortals will be left without protection.” I could hear her voice begin to break as she tried to hold back the tears. “He even told me that I was strong, and I could handle it. He tried to give me hope and encouragement, but it didn’t work. It only made it worse on me.”

I never thought an angel could get so emotional. It genuinely seemed like she was on the verge of tears. I always remembered her being so bright, cheerful, and optimistic, and so hopeful for humanity and the future.

But this… this was different.

End of Part One


Xexotic_wolfX t1_j8bg21c wrote

[PART 2/3]

“I’m so burned out from watching over humanity, waiting for a moment I could protect someone from harm,” she continued on. “The dangers on earth are only getting higher. People’s physical and mental health keep deteriorating. The number of deaths keep rapidly going up. The amount of times I had to stop someone from taking their own life, it’s just… too much.”

Skyler couldn’t hold it back anymore as she started crying through the phone.

“I can’t keep up with the world anymore. Not with the state that it’s in, especially when it keeps getting progressively worse. Constantly having to adjust my shield, and use up more of my power, just to keep humanity from the brink of extinction. I can’t do this anymore, Xavier!”

Her words provoked me in a way that made my stomach turn. “What do you want me to do about it?” I asked her. “I’m in charge of watching over serial killers, kidnappers, sex traffickers, pedophiles, rapists, abusers… and yet you want me to do your job for you? You’re afraid of humans being on the brink of extinction, while I will literally cause them to go extinct all together!”

“Please, Xavier. I’m begging you. I know it’s a lot to ask for, but I know you can do it. We’ve been friends for most of our childhood. You always were the nicest to me, despite being a demon. You were always there for me when no one else was. You actually cared about me. I know you can do this for me. I trust you.”

“That’s in the past, Skyler. Things are different now. What we had in the past was nothing. We were children, we didn’t know better. But now, you’re the new Guardian Angel, and I’m the Overseer of the most dangerous of criminals before they died. We both hold high and powerful ranks, and if we were to switch places, the whole world would be destined for damnation.”

“Xavier, please! I need you, you’re the only one I have. None of the other angels are up for task, or have enough power for such a duty. It’s all up to you. I mean… we used to be the best of friends. Why can’t we go back to the way things were? Why did you have to change?”

Because people change, Skyler. We’re not the same being we were thirty years ago.” I took a deep breath to keep myself from entering a fit of rage. “We were never even supposed to be friends. We had to go behind our Kingdom Leader’s backs because angel-demon relationships were forbidden. If either one of them ever found out… we would have been ultimately perished.”

I bent down to pick up a skull that was lying by my feet. I rolled it around in my hand, my long, sharp claws poking at the brittle, cracked bones. “In fact, we shouldn’t be talking right now. If Satan sees what I’m doing, I’m screwed.”

“Please, Xavier! You’re my only hope!”

I crushed the skull with my powerful fist, with an infuriated look on my face. “What do you want me to do, kill the human population? Because that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I can’t protect them. Only you can, Skyler.”

I was about to hang up when I heard her shaking voice yell, “Wait!”

“What?” I hissed.

“If… if you watch over humanity for a couple of years in place, I’ll… I’ll…”

“You’ll what?”

“I’ll… trade off some of the souls here in Heaven.”

End of Part Two


Xexotic_wolfX t1_j8bgopv wrote

[PART 3/3]

“You can do that?” I asked her.

“Yeah, I think so.”

I sat there, dumbfounded, wondering how someone who couldn’t even handle the stress of protecting humanity could be allowed to trade off souls of innocent mortals who have passed.

“I thought only the Kingdom Holders could do that?”

“No, I can, too, since I’m the Guardian Angel.”

That just caught me even more off guard. I mean, I was one of the most highly ranked demonic Overseers, and even Satan didn’t allow me to trade our souls, since that was supposedly only his job.

But I wasn’t going to pass of the offer. “Well, Satan did say we could use some more souls,” I licked my lips with my snake-like tongue. “How many we talking?” I asked her.

“I don’t know… fifty?” Skyler voice was a lot calmer now. She wasn’t nearly as frantic as she was during her breakdown.

“Hmm… make it a hundred.” I grinned.

“Oh, uhh… alright. A hundred it is, then…” she didn’t sound to sure of herself, like she was regretting making such a deal. “So, will you agree to take my job for a couple years?”

“Yes.” My thought of having new souls to torment made me completely forget about the consequences of guarding mortality.

“Oh, my Heavens, thank you!” she said, sighing. She then began to let out a breathy laugh. “Oh, I can finally take a break! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Xavier, you are a life saver I tell you. Oh, you have no idea what this means to me.”

“So, where are my souls?” I interpreted.

“Oh, you want them right now?” Skyler sounded surprised.

“Yes. If you don’t give them to me now, then consider the deal broken.”

“Okay, fine!” I could tell she regretted her decision, but she wasn’t turning back.

I could hear the cries of the souls as they scream in pain and agony while being transported to Hell. But I didn’t care. I was just happy to get more of them, and I could tell Satan was, too. The cries continued to resonate in my head, but I just ignored them.

That was until the time came where I took on Skyler’s job as Guardian Angel—or should I say, Guardian Demon—looking over all of humanity. I, Xavier Blood-claw, the Great Overseer of the Dangerous Mortals, was now in charge of keeping humanity intact.

I could feel my stomach start to turn again. I didn’t know what about it was making me feel this way. As I made my way to Earth to protect the first mortal, I could feel myself getting nauseous, but I couldn’t bring myself to find the reason behind it.

That was until I guarded my first mortal. I soon realized the terrible mistake I made when the world began to cave in and crumble into the pits of Hell. It was only then that I remembered the curse I once told Skyler about; one that I was so cautious of before, but have completely forgotten it like it was merely nothing. Now that I acknowledged my grave mistake, I quickly tried to undo it all. But the damage was already done.

I never once expected myself to feel so sorry for the humans. I normally enjoyed seeing them suffer. But this was different. Somehow, I felt guilty, ashamed even. I knew what I have done. I knew what unfair eternal punishment I had just given these souls. Not just to the ones who deserved it, but also to the ones who were nothing but innocent. I couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt and shame that was eating away at me.

And now, there was no going back.

The curse has been unleashed.

End of Part Three

WRITER’S NOTE: Sorry this is so long and kinda dark. I don’t why I came up with this, I just did. I wasn’t expecting it to be this long either, so yeah. If someone just so happens to be reading this, I hope you enjoyed none the less, though! I know this story may not be the best, for many obvious reasons, lol. Also, sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes in this. I was typing kinda fast when writing this so that I can get it over with. And Reddit didn’t allow me to put it all in one comment, so I had to write this in 3 different comments. So yeah, that’s pretty much it. Once again, sorry for the story turning out.. like this.


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tslnox t1_j85bbcc wrote

Neil Gaiman! Are you trying to crowdsource Good Omens sequel?! :-D


YALBO t1_j8666v6 wrote

Sometimes in these threads I feel like I'm trapped in that old South Park episode, you know?

"Pratchett did it! Pratchett did it!"

If it wasn't him it was usually Neil Gaiman. Or in this particular case, both, and if you've not read it you're in for such a treat.


dragonadamant t1_j85a39o wrote

I feel like this would make for a good one of those macho-dude-turned-babysitter movies.

Kevin Nash is

"The Guardian"


Jpaylay42016 t1_j84cppd wrote

“And why should I help you?” You ask, remembering how the two of you had a falling out all those years ago. “What’s in it for me?” “Well, you can come up to heaven and see what it’s like” he responded after a minute of silence. “I’m one of the highest ranked demons in hell. Why would I need to go see heaven?” I said sternly. After thinking for a minute, about everything before that fight, I sighed. “You know what? Sure. I’ll cover your ass just like the old days” I said, laughing. “Thank you, and when I get back, maybe we could do something?” He asked. “Maybe.” I replied and hung up.